"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."
The time is indeed drawing near. For more life altering change than I can ever remember all at one time. It has already been a year of immense personal change, but the changes to come will effect my entire household.
The house is being sold. The bank has verbally accepted an offer of $150,000 and the lunitics at HSBC want to close by 2/10/13! My realtor assures me that this is a plain impossibility and that I should not worry. Easy for her to say, she is not looking at a family of 6.7 being put out of their home with very limited options. We are looking at a possible rental house which will fit us all if we can get it. The price will be about half my take home pay per month so it will be tight but what is a man to do? I have to keep a roof over their heads don't I? If we can get in, the house will be available as of May 1st. I am hopeful that everything will work out. I have even prayed about it which, if you know where I am spiritually right now, you know how hard that is to do. Please keep a positive thought for me and my family.
Cathy has just entered her 30th week of pregnancy! Approximately 10 weeks to go till we change 6.7 to 7 ! I am both thrilled and paralyzed with fear at the same time. A new baby, new house, new living arrangements for all the kids etc. Getting used to a new family dynamic and budgeting what little cash we will have so I can make ends meet. The stress is unlike anything I have ever experienced before. There are times when I am just crushed flat by it all. Lera and Cathy keep telling me that it will all work out. They are both right of course, it will have to work out some way, but I will continue to shovel shit against the tide to make sure that I do everything in my power to make sure that it works out in the best way possible for my family.
I'd like to break away for a minute to thank my friends and brothers who have really stepped up during the last year and a half. You all know who you are. I love you guys. Thank you.
It looks like I may be looking for extra work to suppliment my income. I may be driving a dump truck, or doing some voice acting, who knows. Hey, If you got something for me, let me know. Just remember, the tables I used to dance on may not hold me up anymore so that line is probably out.
Back to my faith, I used to have a near absolute faith in the God of the Holy Bible. I used to accept the scripture as the pure word of God. I have had a great deal of time to think lately, perhaps too much time. I do not know if I have had an Epiphany, or if Satan has whispered in my ear thinks that are meant to break me but I DO still believe in God and Jesus. The bible however, 6000 years in the making and hundreds of hands in the translations, I think like with so much else, too many cooks spoiled the soup. I look on so much in there, particularly the "laws" of God and I smell the handiwork of men. Ways that the church could control the people, much like the church of today tries to do. In any case, I am in crisis and I know it. Perhaps God will see fit to enlighten me. I am NOT asking for opinions or guidance on this! God will or will not straighten me out. I am Gideon and this is MY test. Please respect my wishes with regards to this.
Thanks for continuing to follow.
Blessings, such as they are,
Gary
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